Multiplex: What's New | Site Map | Community | News My Multiplex Account | Sign In 
in Search

I confess...

Last post 17 hours, 15 minutes ago by LIghtfield. 26 replies.
Page 1 of 2 (27 items)   1 2 Next >
Sort Posts: Previous Next
  •  06-16-2006, 5:28 PM 184

    • perera is not online. Last active: 08-26-2006, 7:11 PM perera
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 06-09-2006
    • Boulder, CO and Colombo, Sri Lanka
    • Posts 228
    • Points 2,690

    I confess...

    .....I have been so bad at trying to maintain an ongoing ILP (integral life practice).  But I try. I do Smile [:)] 

    However, I do have a few things that I really enjoy doing and I try to do them with a pretty decent amount of awareness.  I imagine, some of it might qualify as practice.  They don’t cover all areas of an ILP, but for now, who’s measuring, right?  I’d like to share some of it with you. 

    Hi everybody!  I am Nomali and I help around here at ISC.  We want to hear from you! Tell us how you recognize the Divine.  We invite you to share with this community how YOU exercise the incredible beauty of Body, Mind and Spirit in Self, Culture and Nature.  Note: If there is any one thing that is not a practice for me, I can tell you already, it is writing! This is just me talking to you – so, please forgive that I have no clue where commas go and all those other grammatical issues!

    On Sundays I join a Kirtan Group here in Boulder. Kirtan, a Sanskrit term, is devotional singing or chanting of God's glories…a Hindu practice that is thousands of years old. In essence, it is meditation through singing and listening to the space between the sounds in complete Bhakti-Devotion to the Highest Truth.  It is also, for me, my own expression of intense longing and yearning to surrender to God’s Heart. Discovering Kirtan practice has been like finding Pure Light.  Seriously, sometimes, I admit, it has been better than finding a fantastic pair of shoes. If you are a woman, you’ll know what I mean.

    I love and appreciate every opening I get to sit in silence. I have spent much time doing sitting retreats in Nilambe, Sri Lanka . It is my favorite place in the world, a tiny and most humble Buddhist meditation center perched atop on the side of a mountain amidst tea plantations at perhaps 2000 feet above sea level.  No electricity, no phones, no cars…just a small group of people practicing silence.  So, yes, sitting is a wonderful practice that I enjoy and sadly, have not been practicing lately as much as I would like. Casey, II’s Marketting Director has been facilitating Zen Meditation twice a week at the II-pod (II Office in Boulder, CO) and I try to go at least to one of them every week.

    Rollie, our awesome ISC Chief Facilitator, has been going to a Tuesday night candle-lit mass here in Boulder.  For the last several months, I have taken such delight in joining this and slowly familiarizing with what is a Catholic Mass.  I have lived all my life in Sri Lanka with a Theravada Buddhist background.  So, Christianity, in general, is very new to me.  These folks stand up, sit down, kneel and repeat same several times within the short 45 minutes or one hour.  I so love it! Sometimes, throughout the week, I find myself longing to kneel for a few quiet moments inside the narrow gap between the long wooden church benches in front of Jesus. 

    For a long time, I have enjoyed Study Groups here in Boulder.  At Naropa, I facilitated a Ken Wilber Study Group every Friday for a year and a half and it was one of my favorite things to do.  It was not just about the mostly cognitive, theoretical aspect of study and practice that we engaged but also, organizing these little weekly gatherings for other like minded folks, organizing events around it with special guests and creating opportunities for participants of this group to lead discussions and share their talents in an integral framework was a loving and joyful practice of Karma Yoga. Lately, Ryan Parks has been holding the space for a similar study circle and I try to be a part of it when ever I can. 

    Speaking of cognitive, I have never been much of a reader and never an intellect.  But when I discovered Ken’s work, I was quite literally blown wide open and fallen to my knees.  Since then, I am not even sure why or how but reading certain kinds of writings just shoot me straight to a place of deep practice.  I am forever grateful to what happens when reading brings me to Spirit.  Also, this is rather strange but i find that highly cognitive space is curiously sexy! Crazy, huh?

    I have also been enjoying doing little bits 'n pieces of painting.  I love the quiet space I encounter when I let colors, hues, tones and brush strokes invite me to engage an amazing quality of lightness and joy – or pain and even agony.  I try to make time for it as practice. In my room, I have a small table for doing art.  Usually, it is crowded with bags, dishes and other stuff.  But I come alive when I play some music and lay out my watercolor pads, paintbrushes, twisted and almost lovingly abused paint tubes on this little table. Then, I let Spirit arise in whatever form it wants to through splashes, scribbles and spills of colour! It is not about the final product at all.  Rather, I try practicing and emptying the need for anything at all.  I have a little art project on IntegralNaked, if you are bored and have nothing else to do. 

    I notice all the time that I am noticing people.  I love imagining who they might be, I love watching them, I LOVE the occasional opportunity I get to actually deeply converse, engage and get to know some people.  And I LOVE serving people and animals. The “Miracle of WE” is absolutely the biggest fascination for me.  I never thought of this fascination of mine as practice.  I still don’t.  But I find myself so full of intention and attention when I am around people that I think I must be doing some kind of practice.  Even without my ever telling these people about my experience, I am practicing who they are…and who I am…and all that is in between - the everythingness and nothingness of us all…. My energetic, felt sense of you and us, joyful or painful, is always-already God.

    And then, last but not least, I love dancing unashamedly and unabashedly in my feminine.  I have very little distractions when I can practice letting go of all contractions and simply surrendering to my body’s deep desire to flow, sometimes like the gentle breeze, sometimes like a wild hurricane.  There is nothing that makes me happier and nothing that I am more proud of than the degree to which I allow myself to be a woman.  Ultimately, whenever I can, to be so fully a woman and to let myself be so choicelessly devoured and devastated by Love is my only practice. 

    So, these are just a few things that I love doing as a part of my spiritual practice. It is not always nice and sweet.  Much of the time, it is confusing, painful and tiring. But what I do know is that I am very conscious when I do these activities.  The bottom line is that all these activities continuously ask, “Who am I?” And there is only one answer or no answer, each and every time.  IF I were ever forced to describe my experience in just one word…it would be Gratitude.

    Thank you, for visiting us at ISC. It is my greatest honor to be a small part of this Integral Spiritual endeavor at Integral Institute.  I hope that you join us and that we become friends in our common journey.  And if you made it this far, reading this long ramble, you MUST be crazy just like me!  You belong here.  It is your turn now to share your practice with us.

    A deep bow in Gratitude,

    Nomali Perera

    Helper at ISC Projects


    Nomali @ ISC
    Project Manager

    ~Save the Earth- it's the only planet with Chocolate!

    • Post Points: 95
    • Report abuse
  •  06-17-2006, 11:40 AM 214 in reply to 184

    Re: I confess...

    This is right down my cultural alley, as I was born Catholic and attended parochial schools from grade 1 through college, with the exception of a brief hiatus in 5th and 6th grades. It has been 36 years since my last confession.

    I love my Catholic heritage, and I work with a Catholic spiritual director. A few years ago I started going to Mass again on a regular basis, and then I stopped. At that time, Mass triggered old ickyIck! [+o(] reactions of the Blue Meanie kind. I have also practiced Centering Prayer. My most consistent devotion/meditation is the Rosary, often simply the Hail Mary. I love being "Hail Mary-ed," as I call it, discovering myself praying as I drive, in the bathroom, gardening, cycling across a narrow bridge with lots of auto traffic. (Where is it written that "insurance" prayer is not authentic?)

    [TOO funny! When I previewed this post, I saw that "c-u-m," in the phrase devotion *** meditation  --- was rendered with asterisks. Guess there's some code in this corner of the virtual kosmos designed to prevent possible obscenity? Or?? I changed the offending word to a slash.]

    In 1996 I read The Life We Are Given, and was captivated by the marriage of vision and discipline, intention and practice. I practiced the ITP kata for some time, and it morphed into a more organic pot pourri of practices varying from season to season, year to year, according to my capacities, resources, and aspirations. For a while that looked like lovingkindness and mindfulness meditation, aerobic exercise, reading Wilber, and training as a coach.

    As time went on, meditation morphed into Centering Prayer, my exercise shifted to include more strength training, and I began working with a spiritual director. I studied Spiral Dynamics with Don Beck, trained as an ontological coach, and studied embodied intelligence with my friend, Charlie Badenhop. I hooked up with the wonderful guys at Integral Development Associates, and I integrated Integral into my work coaching "accidental entrepreneurs."

    Shift happens, and I began using Holosync, a binaural sound technology that cultivates meditative states in the brain. I continue to use the technology as an adjunct to meditation -- my favorite being to pray the Rosary during a session. I joined a cycling team (by accident -- I just wanted some tips) and became a bad princess, cycling harder and longer and faster than I had ever imagined I could. then came swimming in Puget Sound, which morphed into paddling on a surfboard (gotta save the legs for riding).

    Neck and shoulder spasms resulting in numbness in my right hand are challenging my attachment to riding and swimming, and these days I'm doing more walking, running, and step-climbing. My spiritual practices include The Work of Byron Katie, gratitude, and opening my cynical old heart. I regularly explore the gifts of the imagination and of alternate ways of knowing through Process Work, and practice receiving love -- perhaps my greatest challenge -- from my demented mother and my astounding grandchildren.

    Life is good. I don't believe I exist, and I know that I rock.

    Tee hee!

    Oh, that reminds me, laughter may be the deepest practice of all. Praise silliness.

    Molly Gordon, MCC
    Shaboom Inc., Life could be a dream...
    Blog

    "I want God to play in my bloodstream like sunlight amuses itself on water." Elizabeth Gilbert
    • Post Points: 35
    • Report abuse
  •  06-17-2006, 2:41 PM 219 in reply to 214

    • perera is not online. Last active: 08-26-2006, 7:11 PM perera
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 06-09-2006
    • Boulder, CO and Colombo, Sri Lanka
    • Posts 228
    • Points 2,690

    Re: I confess...

    Lovely, Mollygee and Thanks for your presence here and this is just what we want to hear...how our friends might share with all us the many ways they touch Spirit.  Aw...how could i ever have forgotton HUMOR. It's the best practice, ever! Funny you should mention Silliness. And you know what? Rollie, our ISC Boss, calls me Miss Silly Big Smile [:D]

    Praise Silliness!

     


    Nomali @ ISC
    Project Manager

    ~Save the Earth- it's the only planet with Chocolate!

    • Post Points: 20
    • Report abuse
  •  06-18-2006, 3:25 PM 243 in reply to 219

    Re: I confess...

    I must confess my silliness too!

    I used to be a Discordain with a lopsided pineal glad (but I'm recovering slowly).

    I wonder how Eris would feel about Integral?


    My ITP is terrible at the moment, but that's why I'm here right?

    I've only really focused on the UL (I used to think that was all I had to do), with lots of Tibetan meditation, but now I'm moving in more Integral circles I've realised I should do a lot more physical yogas and a lot more social interation.

    Interesting to have a confession thread starting here... it's a big part of the path for me. Once I got over my anti-confession (blue-meanine) stage (which thought Catholics were insane for confessing their sins). I've really learned to love confession thanks to Buddhism and now I feel I have a lot more understanding of its rightful place on the path.

    love and blessings

    V

    --

    silliness:

    +-------------------+
    | LICK HERE!!! |
    | |
    | * |
    | |
    | (You may be one |
    | of the lucky 25) |
    +-------------------+


    "May the sufferings and negativites of living beings ripen upon me,
    And may my happiness and virtue ripen upon them" - Nagarjuna
    • Post Points: 5
    • Report abuse
  •  06-23-2006, 9:53 AM 359 in reply to 184

    • antlion is not online. Last active: 08-23-2006, 11:57 AM antlion
    • Top 100 Contributor
    • Joined on 06-19-2006
    • Ottawa
    • Posts 8
    • Points 130

    Re: I confess...

    This is great to read what others are doing for their ILP and the challenges they face!  The singing sounds very expressive, Nomali.

     

    I thought I would offer up my experience of an Integral Practice in three stages, 1) A Path to an Integral Practice, 2) Putting it into Action, 3) The Practice.

     

    My greatest challenges in embracing my Integral Practice are procrastination, fear, and the manic pace of life (I have four sons!).  The fear comes from letting go of what I had become to know as the God Without to embracing God Within; the God with a Face, to one of Vastness – replacing the relentless guilt-ridden manifestation with peace.  Experiencing the Big Mind process via the Genpo Roshi DVD within the MyILP kit was amazing and a fantastic bridge in helping achieve this – a great session as a reminder, too. 

     

    A Path to an Integral Practice:
    For a while, I’ve immersed myself in various readings from Ken Wilber, and Eckhart Tolle, to Robin Sharma (“The Monk who Sold His Ferrari”).  These helped to open my eyes on how we see, or have identified ourselves (legs, hands, feet, eyes) - we have this crazy notion of having to label everything.  Then came the task of challenging the perceptions of what I thought God looked like (ref. the Da Vinci Code; Zeus), that I found it hard to return to a more primal, ethereal visage of who we 'are'.  I then stumbled across Dr. Candace Pert’s “Molecules of Emotion” on the web, which neatly holds hands w/ Tolle, describing us as mind-bodies and she states that the future of medicine would be based on three principles, 1) how we move, 2) what we think, and 3) what we eat. 

    So, now I'm at this stage of a 'god' as residing in us, uniquely linking all of us, and that this life is merely a transition (Buddhism). And not particularly THE transition...just A transition, of many (and no, I don't prescribe to Shirley's world either ;-). Our worldly, material views and manifestations of how things work and are made shouldn't be applied internally; we are unique (but from the same). [Going to] Church isn't going to save us – nothing saves us, but we can alter the transition - make it easier/harder – it’s truly up to us, kind of thing (sorta like the Hopi's preparing for the next world...next birth). Acceptance is key...that has been my 'true leap of faith'.  Gnosis.

    This mine-d-field of information all helped me to start formulating a plan.

     

    Putting it into Action:
    I begin to create a goal sheet and a weekly schedule (sigh...I'm a project manager, and remember, I am also a professional procrastinator) which included the ‘five free therapies’ (ref. Dan and Marty Butterfield in Boulder Colorado – Neuromuscular Therapists), 1) Diet, 2) Movement, 3) Breath, 4) Creativity, and 5) Spirituality.  Enter Stage Left...an introduction to AQAL, MyILP and Spiral Dynamics (ref. Graves).

     

    The Practice:
    I try to consistently fit into my daily routine (mapped to the five therapies mentioned above) 1) Live/organic foods, and lot’s of them + green teas, etc. (caffeine and fast food out the window…well almost ;-), 2) A combination of 1-2-3 (ref. MyILP Kit), Yoga positions, hiking, soccer, biking and basketball (some of these I find to be spiritual, too), 3) Vinyasa Yoga, 4) Expressing myself through art and guitar, 5) Meditate, Tonglen, Mantras (I made a mala…more creativity!), Big Mind, and soon-to-be-introduced Shadow work (this will likely be monumental task in itself).


    Thanks,
    Bruce
    __________________________________
    "Television must be a medium; because it isn't rare, and it's certainly not well done."
    • Post Points: 5
    • Report abuse
  •  06-23-2006, 10:38 PM 415 in reply to 184

    My Practice (Re: I confess...)

    perera:
    Hi everybody!  I am Nomali and I help around here at ISC.  We want to hear from you! Tell us how you recognize the Divine.  We invite you to share with this community how YOU exercise the incredible beauty of Body, Mind and Spirit in Self, Culture and Nature.  Note: If there is any one thing that is not a practice for me, I can tell you already, it is writing! This is just me talking to you – so, please forgive that I have no clue where commas go and all those other grammatical issues!


    Hi, Nomali,

    My practice is continually evolving. I am not sure if my practice is "fully integral" yet.  (That's why I am here.)

    Currently, I do regular daily sitting-down meditation in the morning (and in the evening, if possible) and do my twice-daily 20-minute physical exercise sessions.

    More than a year ago, I had been initiated in a Tao Cultivation practice and my spiritual education and practice had helped me in appreciating, and, in fact, understanding  (Big Smile [:D] strange! Surprise [:O]) Ken Wilbur's "Integral Philosophy/ Psychologyy/ Spirituality". 

    I was raised in a Christian environment. But, when I started my quest (in 2001/2002) for expanded spiritual search, I had to abandon my Christian fellowship and became agnostic for a while. Then I got interested in OOBE (Robert Monroe), Tai Chi, Buddhism, Theosophy, and currently Tao Cultivation. 

    In this spiritual quest, I went through the following phase: "The mountain is mountain--> The mountain is not a mountain --> The mountain is a mountain". 

    I meant that, at this stage of my spiritual quest (which, by the way, is not necessarily done and over with...) I have come to appreciate the faith/spritual practice (Christianity) that I grew up with; to the point that I started reading the Bible again.   However, this time, the kind of inspiration that I am getting is quite different in flavor than what I used to have.  This time, I have my eyes open wider.  

    I simply found out that my Christian box is a part of a bigger box. I did not have to throw my
    Christian box away.

    Loreto Torres


    towers1209
    杜 偉 德
    -------------------
    "Caminante, no hay camino, se hace camino al andar..."
    [Traveller, there is no path, you create the path as you move forward...]
    Antonio Machado (1875-1939)
    • Post Points: 20
    • Report abuse
  •  06-24-2006, 10:11 AM 427 in reply to 415

    Re: My Practice (Re: I confess...)

    wow... this is really inspiring stuff...

    Robert
     thank you, I knew someone out there must be practicing Integral Parenting and to skillfully combine your work/project management hat with your ITP is really great... you've inspired me to setup an ITP spreadsheet. :)

    Loreto, your story is beautiful. I am sometimes a little envious of those who had a solid traditional/blue upbringing and are then able to draw on that again in later life... I didn't get much while growing up so had to learn a lot of that stuff myself which is, I now realise, why I was so drawn to a reasonably 'strict' Buddhist tradition I guess.

    I think "going around and coming back again" is a thread a topic all by itself... so I'll just say that I know what you mean...I shunned Christianity when I went orange/green but now I'm returning to the primary sources and influences of my county and culture and finding them anew, I now feel like I understand Christians a lot more now I've been down the Buddhist path.

    love and blessings

    \/

    "May the sufferings and negativites of living beings ripen upon me,
    And may my happiness and virtue ripen upon them" - Nagarjuna
    • Post Points: 5
    • Report abuse
  •  06-24-2006, 8:08 PM 442 in reply to 214

    • maryw is not online. Last active: 08-25-2006, 10:57 PM maryw
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 04-18-2006
    • southern California
    • Posts 124
    • Points 2,645

    Re: I confess...

    Hi all -- My first post here -- I usually hang out at Integral Naked . . .

    Mollygee, gee-- what a delight to find that there is someone else out there who prays the rosary while doing Holosync! I do the same thing too on occasion -- I use the "Gamma Compassion" CD for the rosary.

    I also was born a Catholic, turned against it for much of my adult life, then returned to it with fresh eyes about 8 years ago. There really are wonderful riches buried within Catholicism, once we can start to sort its wheat from its chaff and, as an adult, integrate its treasures and dance with the tradition.

    I also practice centering prayer and help to facilitate centering prayer introductory programs in the San Diego area.

    And yep, laughter is God's heartbeat.

    Later folks,

    Mary W.


    Let the beauty we love be what we do.
    There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

    ~Rumi
    • Post Points: 20
    • Report abuse
  •  06-25-2006, 9:55 AM 451 in reply to 442

    Re: I confess...

    Hi,

    It's nice to be here.  Like Mary, I usually post on Integral Naked, so I'm just getting my feet wet here.

    It's inspiring reading about your practices and challenges, and I hope we can be a support for one another here.  My practice is not yet fully Integral -- with my biggest gap in the UR -- but maybe these discussions can help in that regard.  Since becoming a parent, while working and going to school full-time, I got "off track" on my regular meditation practice for a number of years, no longer going to regular retreats or meditating every day.  Now, I've graduated (from JFKU: Integral Psychology), and I'm finding the time, energy, and inspiration to "plug in" a little more.

    Here's a list of those parts of my daily life that I consider part of my ILP (and all your life can be one, can't it?): Following a Time, Space, Knowledge study program (readings, journaling, and a series of meditation practices), based on Tarthang Tulku's vision; going every other week to work with a Diamond Approach teacher, based on the work of A.H. Almaas; playing flute and writing (creative); and I would also add participating in online spiritual forums (Integral, Buddhist, Christian, TSK, Krishnamurti), which has allowed me to make wonderful connections with people all over the world. 

    As I mentioned, I have a gap in the UR especially -- I walk for about 30 minutes a day, but I don't regularly work out or do any physical practices (other than my diet, which is vegetarian).  I would like to start a physical practice again, though.  I want to check out the FIT program that Wilber promotes.  But I may do something I'm more familiar with, like Kum Nye, Tsa Lung, or Trulkhor (all Tibetan yoga-like practices).  I also don't do much in the way of social service (though I did donate my car to charity yesterday!).  But my hope is eventually to find employment that will allow me to serve society in meaningful ways.

    Best wishes,

    Balder


    May the boundless knowledge that time presents and space allows illuminate the native perspectives of your original face.

    • Post Points: 5
    • Report abuse
  •  06-29-2006, 5:07 AM 621 in reply to 184

    • mickcourt is not online. Last active: 08-23-2006, 3:32 PM mickcourt
    • Top 200 Contributor
    • Joined on 06-26-2006
    • Posts 2
    • Points 170

    Re: I confess...

    Hi,
    My first time in contributing to a forum ...  Not sure if I am pressing the right buttons to make a reply?  
    I have really appreciated the material from Ken Wilber and all the other amazing people he gets to share on his site ...
    I am a catholic priest (for 22 years) and so come from a strong traditonal background which I deeply appreciate - but do not feel confined by.  It has been my path and a great help as I journey into they mystery of God and giving space for God/Spirit to move within me.   I am striving to grow in ILP that is one reason I am part of this and read the wisdom of so many others to encourage my own journey ...

    I have 'drunk' from the practices of my tradition and continue to do so ... A major change happened to me about 10 years ago ... after a traumatic life experience that left my heart shattered.     I had always played a lot of sport and was a regular jogger ... but never connected this to my spiritual journey.
    Following the traumatic experience I found the works of Thomas Keating and began to give time to Centering Prayer.    However it was in my long distant running (between 15-20 kms) that I started to experience the movements described by Keating, or really experienced them and then read Keating.     The distance running (2 to 4 times a week) became my most powerful experience of contemplation (emptying and space for God/Spirit) ... and then I was able to transfer it to the sitting silence times as well ...    I have continued to find that an amazing combination - in the last few months I have added a little strength training following hearing those talks about FIT.
    I am an avid reader and then applyer of what I process ...  The works of Parker Palmer have profoundly influenced me towards growing in integral practices, especially in terms of his presentation of the centrality of paradoxes.   He speaks of how paradoxes have poles of creative tension.   We often strive to reduce that tension and struggle with these poles ...  Yet he shares how essential they are - and to not just live in balance but live vibrantly together in creative tension!  Then they generate life in a similar way to that of the positive and negative poles of a battery generating electricity.    Thus recognizing those polarities in my life and even encouraging them fits in well with the concept of integral practices but gives a theoretical understanding to it from another perspective.   The polarities on the external level define many of my practices ... that together generate or awaken me to 'Spirit and Life'.    Thus the need for community and solitude, the need for prayer and action, the need for work and play, creativity and routine are some of the external paradoxes that I consciouly embrace and they are aspects of my ILP.  

    My life as a priest is focused towards youth and teachers - and many of these aspects flow naturally within that framework.  I consider myself very lucky in that regard - however discipline is needed to keep the poles both present.  I am naturally active, and need to use discipline for mediation and prayer.  I am naturally people focused and need to use discipline to give time for other dimensions such as learning and crafts ...  It is so easy to let the Urgent over-ride the Important  (using words in a Stephen Covey model).  
    My creativity dimensions are often expressed in how I do things with young people - but also in my hobby of magic which I weave into my ministry.   Magic is a sign post for me to remember the world of 'imagination'.   For myself personally I find the gift of hobbies such as painting and crafts a powerful way to connect with 'earth' and my right brain dimensions ... and God's spirit in that dimension ... I then often use these hobbies as expressions of gifts of love to friends.  

    My communal ILP is also within the many church communities that I am part of and celebrate with  ...  and also the catholic congregation that I belong to ...

    Ken Wilber's presentation of the witnessing meditation has helped me and awakened some of those dimensions for me, as has the work of Tolle.
    Within my own tradition - the work of Margaret Silf has profoundly touched my prayer life opening for me the wisdom of Ignation prayer practices through her amazingly earthy images.
    I could go on, but need to check myself ... a friend once said to me .. "Mick be careful, when people ask for a glass of water you can be like a fire Hydrant .." certainly one of my weaknesses :)

    Thanks for the opportunity to reflect on my practices and to examine them in terms of ILP and to keep seeing them that way ... and also for all the others who shared their practices - and to see the diversity and possibilities ...

    Blessings to you all,
    Mick Court (Melbourne - Australia)




    • Post Points: 50
    • Report abuse
  •  06-30-2006, 10:19 PM 700 in reply to 621

    Re: I confess...

    Well, I too struggle with it all. 

    I love the Big Mind stuff, and try and do it once a week.  When I do sit and just breath, it seems my day is ALWAYS better.  Strange how I don't manage that more.

    I look at sunsets and my garden, and let myself be floored by the beauty of unusual moments while driving in the isolation of L.A... A splash of purple with all the Jacaranda trees blooming, and old woman wearing a great hat...

    I have never been one to get up and move my body in any sort of regimented way, but if you put on some James Brown I will shake it all night long.  Not only feeding my body, but my heart and soul.

    My community is mostly of other spirit seeking writers, my readings...Wilber, Houston, depth psych stuff, Pema Chodron, etc. 

    But where I really want to step up, or maybe it is step out into is in my LR - engaging the world and all it needs more.  Oh, I send money, I send emails and sign petitions, but besides my teaching, I do not feel like I am out there enough and doing enough.  Maybe it's just this nasty liberal upper middle class guilt embedded in my psyche.

    I don't have many around me doing the integral things. Oh it is a lonely road.  But do I want off?  Not on your life baby.

    Best,
    Kelly

    It's ALL soul. Junior Wells
    • Post Points: 20
    • Report abuse
  •  07-01-2006, 3:29 PM 723 in reply to 700

    Re: I confess...

    Hey Kelly

    Like you I feel the UL is really under-represented/unfulfilled in my life... I'm thinking that working towards making clear and useful postings here is part of improving that but there is a lot to be done out there in the 'real world' too.

    I'm hopeing that I can help a local Integral Group seed, grow and flourish and I was wondering if you'd thought of that too? It might make the road a little less lonely... sangha is 33.333% of the path, right?

    As for James Brown I have no idea what you mean :)  I guess I need to work on my kinesthetic line huh?

    keep on letting yourself be floored

    have a beautiful day

    \/


    "May the sufferings and negativites of living beings ripen upon me,
    And may my happiness and virtue ripen upon them" - Nagarjuna
    • Post Points: 5
    • Report abuse
  •  07-02-2006, 1:27 AM 746 in reply to 621

    • Johno is not online. Last active: 07-28-2006, 5:14 AM Johno
    • Top 500 Contributor
    • Joined on 06-16-2006
    • Posts 1
    • Points 20

    Re: I confess...

    HI all,

     

    I'm very excited to be a part of this Integral Spirituality Community. It feels like it could be something I've been looking for  and missing.

    Like some others in this thread I come from a strong Catholic background. I rejected this in my late teens, did the radical politics, drugs, communal living, and trip to India and other parts of Asia, during the seventies, which I later realised was all part of a spiritual search.. For most of the last quarter century I've been slowly rediscovering the riches and treasures of the Catholic tradition, particularly the great mystics, Meister Eckhardt, Bede Griffiths etc. I'm now very committed to the Catholic church including my local parish although it's hard to find like-minded people within this community. My main contemplative practice is 2 or 3 daily sessions of Christian Meditation, which basically consists of repetition and atttention to the mantra "Maranatha". I follow the teachings of Fr John Main and his successor Fr Laurence Freeman in this regard, and I'm an oblate of the World Christian Meditation Community, which I think of as an ecumenical  contemplative sangha. I've started teaching this form of meditation in a couple of small groups over the lst couple of years.  Both my involvement in the wider Catholic community and my meditation practive have elements in all 4 quadrants, although the latter is primarily an UL practice.

     

    I've been an avid student of Ken Wilber since I discovered SES at a Transpersonal conference in Sydney in 96. Since then I've read just about everything of his I can get onto both in books and online, which suits my intellectual bent. At times I get such a transmission and energy from his work that I just want to share it. It's difficult at times to find others with whom  I can share this enthusiasm. One of the great experiences of my life was my participation last May in an Integral Psychtherapy seminar in Denver with the fantastic I-I team, followed by a couple of days of getting to know Boulder, visiting Naropa Uni and the Shambhala Centre. Disappointingly I didnt get to meet Ken. This might happen one day.

    My main UR practices are walking in the bush,  a hour's yoga a week (I'd like to find the time to do more), and for the last few months a bit of weight training - lifting dumbbells, after hearing Ken's recommendations.  I think my healthy diabetic diet is pretty good.

     

    I work as a social worker in the Australian  Government's largest human services organisation which give plenty of scope for practicing, service, compassion and structural work in the LR. I'm very fortunate to have good family and friends around.  I live alone, sometimes like a bit of a hermit.

    I thnk that the main area that needs further development for me at this stage is to become actively part of an integral community. Initially this may be mainly on line although I'd love to be part of a small local integral group, which will I think eventually happen..

     

    enough for an initial rave,

    love and peace to all who share this space and to all beings.

     

    John O'Neill

     

    Pelaw Main

    NSW  Australia,

    • Post Points: 20
    • Report abuse
  •  07-02-2006, 10:00 AM 751 in reply to 746

    • jaysyouruncle is not online. Last active: 08-16-2006, 11:41 AM jaysyouruncle
    • Top 75 Contributor
    • Joined on 06-26-2006
    • New York
    • Posts 17
    • Points 280

    Re: I confess...

    Thanks to Nomali for starting this wonderful thread, a kind of free-ranging integral practice confession thread, and thanks to everyone for their inspirational and interesting contributions here, which I've been enjoying for the past week 'til now when I finally have some time to post. Incidentally, I'd recommend people go see her paintings at integral naked; they're boundaryless and gorgeous----plus her presentation uses a classical music track that is perfectly matched with the contemplative, searching mood they create.
    Being a classically trained musician, I appreciate the appearance of such music on a website that favors spiritual alt-pop, or whatever you want to call it: there's a whole lot more to music than a bunch of bald singer/songwriters and their integrally informed producer contacts, with all due respect to Stuart Davis, whom I know knows this (and whom I do admire and enjoy greatly)

    Anyways, on to my confession.
    My integral practice could be compared to a bipolar rollercoaster ride.

    Up until now, it has consisted of periods of commitment and consistency. In the last such period, it involved getting up each morning to do 'men's" yoga (inspired by some classes I took here in New York from a Deida student/yoga dude) After the yoga, perhaps a chapter from a book about conciousness, and then meditation, of course, half-an-hour, most days, sometimes shorter, sometimes longer.
        Energized and focused for the day, I get up, clean up, make some coffee and breakfast, my only cup of the day, purified water.is the rule for the rest of the day, even if I spend a lot of time running around the city and then recuperating in Starbucks.
        Adherence to a strict, restrictive "diabetic" diet ala dr. Richard K. Bernstein----extemely lo-carb, high protein, and lots of veggies. It works wonders on my blood sugar readings (I'm type-one diabetic) and that keeps me healthy and energized. If the weather permits, travelling by bike rather than subway, that's my excercise and sun quotient for the day.
        Meeting with my integral friends at Integral Salon here in new York several times a month, applying conciousness and ethics to my work as a guitar teacher and gigster, reading several books at once, constantly engaging the intellect, grappling with the concepts of integral and how they relate to all of crazy reality.
        This goes on for several months or so, things are looking up. You're looking great, Jay, people say. You're in a good place, Jay. There's a twinkle in your eye that I didn't notice before. Stuff like that.
       
    And then, slowly, sneakily, hell breaks loose. The "practices" drop off, procrastination and avoidance start to settle in for a self-destructive free-for-all. Chocolate chip cookies, diet pepsi, and ice cream and late-nite marathons of scintillatingly addictive HBO series on DVD, degenerating ever-so-slowly but surely the realms of CSI and X-files, and ultimately, into gross-out horror flicks. During all this Consciousness is set at default level: perhaps a bit higher than the last time this happened, but there's not much cultivation going on. During the worst of it, I get comments like: Are you taking care of yourself, Jay? Is your diabetes killing you? Sometimes it almost does---I'm prone to serious insulin reactions in times like these, and was recently shocked back into seriousness by two near-death episodes. It's a thin line, friends.

         I'll spare you most of the details of this portion of my integral practice cycle. Certain positive things continue---I'm still working, teaching, writing, composing, playing, friending, and certainly still pursuing the intellectual side of things. But let's put it this way: I have a theory  that creative artists are often masters of self-distraction. In order to come up with something new, original, fresh, you learn to follow the stray thought, the circuitous route, the darkest, dankest hint of inspiration in the shadows, or the tempting flicker that passes your peripheral vision. Or perhaps you try to float around aimlessly in the muck until the perfect thing passes by and you can jump up and chase after it. It's about getting lost. It's a lifestyle not conducive to charts and psychographs and integral practice modules.

    Ok, I confess, I just thought up that "distraction theory of creativity"  Sounds fairly good, but it's not much more than an excuse to indulge in the distracted life of the average moper/slacker--- a sometimes helpful technique for inspiration gets magnified into a lifestyle.
       
    What was missing from my practice that brought me to this? Shadow work, for one, I realize this more clearly than ever, now at this point where things are swinging back towards commitment and focus. A shrink is a hard thing to afford on a freelance salary, but that's just another excuse. Conscious shadow work quite quickly brings me out of my quiet desperation.

         I loved the interview with Robert Augustus Masters on Integral Naked several weeks ago, about becoming intimate with terror, and all the things you are trying to avoid. At this moment, that is my primary practice. Basically, allowing myself to become intimate with the hell as well as the heaven. I'm dropping the distractions---in a more sensible, less extreme way this time. I'm journaling, writing 3-2-1 entries that often pour out like poetic self/Self discussions.

    I'm very lucky to live in a city where lots is going on in whatever facet of the integral spectrum you might desire. This provides one with the precious opportunity to find/co-create the right kind of Sangha, another vital element that was lacking in my practice.

    A few of us at the Integral Salon are starting a new ILP group, which looks promising. I've suggested we all start out with confessions like this one. I've also joined a new Deida Men's group, and these guys seem a lot more focused and self-actuallized on the whole than the last one I was in, which eventually squabbled and fell apart.

    So that's it for now. I'f you've managed to read thus far, I thank you!

    Looking forward engaging in this new sangha of  integralites, to making some new freinds in surprising places, to hanging out with people who understand that it's not arrogant or foolish to try to apply this amazing theory of everything to the framing the issues of our lives.and to improving things in the world.

    Jay








    "I always try to get up every morning..." Jimi Hendrix
    • Post Points: 35
    • Report abuse
  •  07-02-2006, 10:49 AM 752 in reply to 751

    Re: I confess...

    Dear Jay,

    I loved your post because I could soooooo relate to it.  
       
    "And then, slowly, sneakily, hell breaks loose. The "practices" drop off, procrastination and avoidance start to settle in for a self-destructive free-for-all. Chocolate chip cookies, diet pepsi, and ice cream and late-nite marathons of scintillatingly addictive HBO series on DVD, degenerating ever-so-slowly but surely the realms of CSI and X-files, and ultimately, into gross-out horror flicks. During all this Consciousness is set at default level: perhaps a bit higher than the last time this happened, but there's not much cultivation going on. During the worst of it, I get comments like: Are you taking care of yourself, Jay? Is your diabetes killing you? Sometimes it almost does---I'm prone to serious insulin reactions in times like these, and was recently shocked back into seriousness by two near-death episodes. It's a thin line, friends."

    My version of this is diet coke, brownies and American Idol.  And then into obsessive thoughts about how cancer ravaged my grandmother and mother...and then I come out of it for a few months, and yes I am more conscious eachtime, but it seems that I too keep getting abducted into the shadows.

    But I too have some kind of connection to your theory.

     "But let's put it this way: I have a theory  that creative artists are often masters of self-distraction. In order to come up with something new, original, fresh, you learn to follow the stray thought, the circuitous route, the darkest, dankest hint of inspiration in the shadows, or the tempting flicker that passes your peripheral vision. Or perhaps you try to float around aimlessly in the muck until the perfect thing passes by and you can jump up and chase after it. It's about getting lost. It's a lifestyle not conducive to charts and psychographs and integral practice modules. "

    I am a writer and performer and I too get the importance of letting my psyche move toward what it needs to create.  Without being able to let go of regiment thinking, there is no other way I could create.  I feel like you have to be a chaser of shadows to glimpse new ways of seeing things, to land in a space that I have never been in before as a writer. 

    "Ok, I confess, I just thought up that "distraction theory of creativity"  Sounds fairly good, but it's not much more than an excuse to indulge in the distracted life of the average moper/slacker--- a sometimes helpful technique for inspiration gets magnified into a lifestyle."
       
    But I guess what is so challenging is not letting this wandering take over all modules of my life.  How do I be fluid and open for the creative path, and keep some kind of routine in my body/mind development?  Hmmm....even as I write this I realize that there is some kind of balance in all of this, and that is when I am dedicated to my writing and see it as a practice, then I am usually given great gifts from the word Gods.   It is like any kind of practice...the form gives freedom.  I just need to figure out how to apply this to body/mind practices.

    I see the journey of life as a circumambulating one.  I move around the mountain in a circular fashion, and know that I will be visiting the same areas over and over again, just with a higher view each time (hopefully).   Sometimes I just feel like I am walking in circles, and sometimes I feel like I have fallen off the path and am bloodied in a ditch on the side.  But as long as there is breath in this body, I suppose the path is always leading me upward and onward where I can transcend and include all the views I have traveled through.

    Loving finally having a community to talk about all this with.

    Best,
    Kelly


    It's ALL soul. Junior Wells
    • Post Points: 20
    • Report abuse
Page 1 of 2 (27 items)   1 2 Next >
View as RSS news feed in XML
 © Integral Institute, 2006. all rights reserved - powered by enlight™ email this page del.icio.us | terms of service | privacy policy | suggestion box | help