I wholeheartedly agree. To that end, I recently communicated regarding this issue with my fellow Canadian’s via my blog, which I am confident all 300 of them read. We agreed to march in solidarity to the U.S. as a demonstration, to make it clear that something must be done.
However when we massed on the Idaho/Canada border, the farmer there stopped us in our tracks. “I heared tell that mad cow disease could cross into people and now I see its true,” he said. “Besides,” he continued, “don’t ya know you have to have a passport to cross this border now?” Those days of just scootin’ across with yer dynamite and BC bud are over!”
“But the passport lineups are really long right now eh?” we whined. “And if China shoots down our satellite then, then… then they could just come and take us over and nobody would even know!” The farmer stared at us all shuffling around in the snow with a level gaze that I suspect he normally reserves for a farm animal that’s past its useful life. He sighed. “You don’t have a satellite,” he said.
“All you got is what you refer to on your radio station as the ‘Canadarm’, whatever the hell that means, but its what we refer to in these parts as the crane on the space station. Personally, I don’t think you need to worry that the Chinese are going to spend a billion dollars to take out the crane.”
“But, but,” one of us argued forcibly, “we’re here to join the Federation! We heard that “Dubya”, or President Wilber as we affectionately refer to him north of the 39th, was calling for the establishment of a Space Federation, just like on Star Trek, to defy the PRC!”
Now the farmer was looking directly at me. “What the hell have you been telling these people Rick?” he asked. “President Wilber?!”
I decided it was time to address the crowd. “Let’s calm down folks and do what we Canadian’s do best. We’ll go back and line up politely at the passport office for starters. Then while we’re waiting for them to be issued in six months or so, we’ll ask Prime Minister Harpooner to send someone around visiting the entire country, someone from Quebec who can barely speak English, to gather “idears and toughts” about how to respond to our American cousin here.”
So Tim, that’s our Plan B. As you see, we’re riled now and we don’t give up easy. Hang in there. After I clear up a few misunderstandings about um, President Wilber and the Space Federation, we’ll be like Terminators eh; back.
Rick Bateman
Founder
Social Circles Canada - A New Kind Of Health Club
socialcirlces.ca
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