yeah its ok OCD comes and goes. today im buying a set of bowls knifes forks. girlfriend here is cooking for me very well but my OCD goes up a notch every few days and so now im refining again :) :)
yeah your what you said... very interesting to me. i try to think of it like this.... you hear people saying reality is illusion. now i wonder what htey mean and suspect a combination of meanings that are not seperated well, but do relate in the end analysis-synthesis. So please tell me what you think. some mean solid reality is an illusion and it is more wave like, particles... vs flows... you go from independent object solid reality addiction, which sometimes i even wonder how it arose in the first place, and you start htinking reality is more energy wave like. hmm... hologram. matter is a hologram. here there is still the suggestion of a definite reality of force a kosmic ocean in which matter "appears" but is not quite as it seems. the other way people mean reality is illusion... is to mean it is all internal to Mind. you might think neurologically about this, light enters the eye and is turned into electrical chemical signals in the brain which mysteriously "appears" to the inner eye which is.. i think still a mystery. so yeah reality is more directly percieved as light, but reality itself is questioned from this more directly image experience perceptual concept. suppose ... there is a reality and it is wave energy like and even the brain is an appearance of a solid in the cosmic ocean. however deeper than that we only ever in our own experience... emotional perception feels more real... somehow, the flow, the feeling, everything uh... dunno, the perception of it is more real than the graspin onto objects holographically appearing in the light and energy. and this is one level, the other is it is still having faith in the appearance of a reality outside the mind. deeper the "reality is illusion" saying means we cannot even tell if there is more than Image. but i don't know maybe we can. atleast we can philosphically logically say there is a reality supporting my experience even if we cannot know from experience what is really what? huh?
the fabric begins to tear
and i don't really care