hi kelly,
you touch on so many things, and i can sense they're all connected, but i'm not quite sure how nor how to reply. anyway, i think it's good that you're reaching out and, in effect, working on those connections.
i can be a hermit type myself, and i've had alot more years to work at it than you
from an integral perspective, of course, it's also good to work on the non-hermit side of ourselves.
more seriously, they say that still waters run deep. i was definitely shy in my earlier years, but i can now see that it was, perhaps, because there was an awful lot to witness and take in and make sense of in a not so ordinary life.
how this relates to shadows and manipulation i'm not sure, except that i've wondered about this, too. my primary concern has pretty much always been, not about manipulating others, but about them manipulating me. hey! there's the connection! the concerns of a shy person!
of course, too much of either leads to shadows. in my case the hooks would be the people who i get all worked up about because i'm sure they're trying to manipulate me. come to think of it, that used to be a problem i had. i think i may have gotten over this, but i'm going to need to check.
thanks kelly!